But how does it make you feel?

Nostomania is an overwhelming desire to surround oneself with the familiar.

I’m feeling a bit homesick today after a miserable night with the suitor last night. I thought we’d managed to dissolve any romantic ideas he had, and granted him a consolatory meeting as friends. But it’s evident that he’s still living in hope. I feel like Sartre’s waitress, living in bad faith, and am kicking myself for getting myself into this charade of politeness. I don’t want to offend him either, this island is too small for that.

Ali Geee asked how I’m feeling beneath these cynically observations. A good question that I’m avoiding asking myself. Just trying to float above any draining psychological introspections. Trying to juggle the identity of the magazine with my own tastes and interests is a challenge too, something that leaves me feeling professionally schizophrenic and constantly trying to apply game theory.

I want to be earthed, shed my “best behaviour” mask and have a good laugh and a couple of burps.

Yet, it is “Friday”, always a melancholic day for me. And I also keep tracing this back to other experiences I’ve had before of moving to new places – there is always a set cycle of disillusionment and integration.